Maybe he’s right

Could it be that I am fooling myself? Wanting it so bad that I am oblivious to reality? Perhaps…

I just found out the a friend of mine has already gotten a divorce after 2 years of marriage and my god sister has gotten divorced after 5 years of marriage. That is such a huge reality blow…divorce does happen.

I have been pushing B to be the person I want him to be and pushing him to want to get married. Maybe he was right when he said that I should leave him and go find someone better. Its just so hard to do that, I love him so much it hurts. I cannot see my life without him, but when I think about it, I can’t see us as husband and wife.He’s a good person, just under motivated.

I really don’t think I could find someone who can accept me as I am ( I’m not a skinny-mini) AND is cool with me being a mother. At least not a good man who’s going somewhere in his life. From my experience, men without a lot of money/possessions  treat their women a lot better than men who have  the money/possessions.

I have tried to get to know some guys from school, but I only seem to attract the creepy annoying ones. Come on, how hard is it to find one decent man? One who is doing something with his life and has money, a vehicle AND is supporting himself on his own…one that isn’t a complete asshole.

Does this man exist? If so, please point me to him!

You’re not good enough for me? Seriously???

What’s going on with my relationship?!?! Since when do men tell their girlfriends they should just leave them and find someone else? That’s pretty much what B is saying me…. He’s not good enough for me and I shouldn’t be wasting my time dating him.

First, B asked me why I would want to be stuck with someone who isn’t going anywhere. Then he tells me that I am still young and he doesn’t want 10 years to go by and I regret wasting so much time on him.

I don’t know what brought this on. We have been together for 3 years and this is just coming up. The only thing I can think of that would spark his thoughts would be finding out how much I can make after I graduate college. I think he feels threatened. In his line of work and with the way our economy is going, he will probably only make $13/hr at most and I could make around $20/hr with my degree.

We have discussed him going back to school and picking up a certificate in something so he can make a little more money. He could have a certificate in something in less that two years. He is really afraid to go back to school, he ended up dropping out of high school to get a GED. I really want him to go back to school because I don’t think that he could survive doing what he does now. I also want him to get a certificate and a good job so that he can shove it in his families face. He has been told ever since he was about 13 that he would always be a bum and never amount to anything. B admits that being told that as a kid did have a negative affect on his life.

I love this man more than anyone should ever love another person. I have gotten to the point where I can’t see my life without him. I just don’t really know how to approach this situation. I know love doesn’t put food on the table, but it has to amount to something. Doesn’t it? I don’t want to call it quits, especially for this reason. How do I convince him that making less then your partner does not make you less of a man?