I had gotten pregnant when I was 18 by the first looser who made me feel like someone special. He was soo excited when he saw that the test was positive, I was… lets just say less than enthused. He wanted to take me straight to the store to buy me maternity clothes and baby things.
When the time came that I had to tell my folks that I had been knocked up, then had just had a friend of the family do a background check on him. Turns out he was, for lack of a better word, a nut case. He knew just want to say to me to keep me around. At that moment, I had never felt more stupid in my life. I knew there were a few red flags, but I was young and dumb and just figured it was no big deal.
My folks told me that I needed to just get away from him and never talk to him again. So I told him that I had an abortion. He was so devastated and it crushed me to have to lie to someone who was so happy. Everyday, when I think about that Sunday afternoon when I took the test and saw the joy in his eyes when he saw the results, I cry because I keep thinking that I made a mistake keeping his son away from him. Everyday until today….
Today I did a little checking up on him just to see where he is living (he moves around a lot) and what not. Last I knew he had a girlfriend and was living about an hour away from here. When I look today I find out he has moved back to his home town like 20 minutes from here, he and his girlfriend have split up AND he has a baby boy on the way. That made me wonder….Why are they no longer together especially since shes having HIS baby? It seems that he changed for the worst after she got pregnant and she couldn’t take his shit anymore and left.
Now I know without a doubt that I made the right choice. He really does have issues and I am much better off not having him in mine or my sons life. The last thing I need is some nut case that’s in and out of jail in my life.
So no more worries about what could have been, No more tears shed…it’s a lesson learned and I have the most handsome and well behaved little boy anyone could ask for.
